In times of crisis, it can feel as though negative emotion takes up our entire screen and there is nothing we can do to make it go away. Sometimes our emotions feel so intense that we identify with these passing states of consciousness for months or even years later, long after the original event has passed. This can leave us feeling emotionally crippled and even powerless to create the kind of emotional harmony we've always wanted to experience.
There is so much confusion in society concerning the proper handling of emotional energy. Often we are encouraged to repress & suppress it so that we can 'get on with our day' and as a result, our emotional lives can become an uninhabitable mess. Luckily, the process of emotional 'cleaning up' is deceptively simple, and it's outlined in the excellent follow-along book called Letting Go by Dr. David R. Hawkins. This is something that will give you greater emotional freedom which you can learn to do on your own without needing to follow any dogma, special rituals or behavioral prescriptions. It's more of a process of 'unlearning' than it is learning something entirely new.
Let's do a quick overview of the essence of this process so you can decide if you'd like to delve into the book & investigate it for yourself.
Allowing the Emotions to Come Up
There is so much confusion in society concerning the proper handling of emotional energy. Often we are encouraged to repress & suppress it so that we can 'get on with our day' and as a result, our emotional lives can become an uninhabitable mess. Luckily, the process of emotional 'cleaning up' is deceptively simple, and it's outlined in the excellent follow-along book called Letting Go by Dr. David R. Hawkins. This is something that will give you greater emotional freedom which you can learn to do on your own without needing to follow any dogma, special rituals or behavioral prescriptions. It's more of a process of 'unlearning' than it is learning something entirely new.
Let's do a quick overview of the essence of this process so you can decide if you'd like to delve into the book & investigate it for yourself.
Allowing the Emotions to Come Up
When life leaves us with a void - a sense of emptiness after a traumatic event or a loss - the best thing we can do is to simply allow the feeling of emptiness. If we try to fill the holes right away and repress the grief that we feel, we are actually drumming up a lot of energetic resistance to the situation itself. The problem with this, of course is that what we resist, persists.
Let's look at the benefits of softening & letting go when we contrast them with the more rigid approach. The rigid resistance that happens when we try to ‘fix’ our anger or our grief can be likened to a transaction in a retail store. When we buy an item, we get a receipt for our purchase as confirmation that we now have the object in our possession. Similarly, since whatever we focus on grows, when we resist any negative emotion, we are actually putting more emphasis and energy investment into confirming its dominance in our life. It's like we're saying 'Hey, universe! I want receipts to show that I'm feeling this terrible!' After we make this inner declaration, the emotion that we are so resistant to experiencing will loom even larger as we continuously affirm its dominance.
Why does this happen? It’s because the energy we spend trying to fix it is actually a transaction in which we are energetically declaring: ‘I’m spending a LOT of energy to repress this emotion I do not want.’ Since this is a vibrational universe, the attempts at repressing and suppressing the grief only serve to solidify it in place because they make it the dominant vibration in the field that moment. Even though on the surface, we it looks as though we are opposing the grief, the vibration that our attentional focus is producing will bring us more of the same.
Alternatives to Emotional Resistance
Let's look at the benefits of softening & letting go when we contrast them with the more rigid approach. The rigid resistance that happens when we try to ‘fix’ our anger or our grief can be likened to a transaction in a retail store. When we buy an item, we get a receipt for our purchase as confirmation that we now have the object in our possession. Similarly, since whatever we focus on grows, when we resist any negative emotion, we are actually putting more emphasis and energy investment into confirming its dominance in our life. It's like we're saying 'Hey, universe! I want receipts to show that I'm feeling this terrible!' After we make this inner declaration, the emotion that we are so resistant to experiencing will loom even larger as we continuously affirm its dominance.
Why does this happen? It’s because the energy we spend trying to fix it is actually a transaction in which we are energetically declaring: ‘I’m spending a LOT of energy to repress this emotion I do not want.’ Since this is a vibrational universe, the attempts at repressing and suppressing the grief only serve to solidify it in place because they make it the dominant vibration in the field that moment. Even though on the surface, we it looks as though we are opposing the grief, the vibration that our attentional focus is producing will bring us more of the same.
Alternatives to Emotional Resistance
The more we resist the feelings of grief, the stronger they seem to become, and this is how we get ‘stuck’ in a pattern for weeks, months, and sometimes years. The conscious mind doesn’t want to surrender to the feeling. It's more interested in 'solving' the problem. The first instinct of the mind is to try and use the negative emotion to further this cause.
Many of us - particularly men - carry around suppressed grief from social conditioning which can be terrifying to us because the mind thinks, 'If I were to start letting these feelings come up, I would never stop crying. It's too intense.' However, the only reason the grief sticks around is because of our own refusal to allow it to be relinquished. If we allow the grief to come up to be surrendered because we have accepted we can handle the grief, we jump up from grief into the level of pride and then eventually into the level courage (e.g. 'I can handle it). This is when our friends and family will see a huge overall positive change in our demeanor.
When we simply allow ourselves to experience and surrender to the feeling of grief, our focus becomes softer and less laser focused on the emotion itself. When this happens, the vibration of grief in our overall awareness becomes much less. Once we see that negative energy is a phenomenon that is happening all on its own, and that the energy itself has no real bearing on our own worth as sentient beings, then we have more of our attention freed up to focus on positive experiences beyond these momentary negative feelings.
Grief in particular is time limited. If we accept and surrender to it, the resistance keeps becoming less and less and the grief itself literally runs out. According to David Hawkins, if we do this process perfectly - that is, if we allow every part of our experience of grief without any resistance at all - then even the most profound grief will eventually run out after 20 minutes. Even excruciating grief can only last 20 minutes at its full intensity - then it will simply stop. It may sound unbelievable to those of us who have never tried this process - but the only way to achieve direct experience of this knowledge is to give it a try for yourself!
The Door to the Positive Emotional States
Many of us - particularly men - carry around suppressed grief from social conditioning which can be terrifying to us because the mind thinks, 'If I were to start letting these feelings come up, I would never stop crying. It's too intense.' However, the only reason the grief sticks around is because of our own refusal to allow it to be relinquished. If we allow the grief to come up to be surrendered because we have accepted we can handle the grief, we jump up from grief into the level of pride and then eventually into the level courage (e.g. 'I can handle it). This is when our friends and family will see a huge overall positive change in our demeanor.
When we simply allow ourselves to experience and surrender to the feeling of grief, our focus becomes softer and less laser focused on the emotion itself. When this happens, the vibration of grief in our overall awareness becomes much less. Once we see that negative energy is a phenomenon that is happening all on its own, and that the energy itself has no real bearing on our own worth as sentient beings, then we have more of our attention freed up to focus on positive experiences beyond these momentary negative feelings.
Grief in particular is time limited. If we accept and surrender to it, the resistance keeps becoming less and less and the grief itself literally runs out. According to David Hawkins, if we do this process perfectly - that is, if we allow every part of our experience of grief without any resistance at all - then even the most profound grief will eventually run out after 20 minutes. Even excruciating grief can only last 20 minutes at its full intensity - then it will simply stop. It may sound unbelievable to those of us who have never tried this process - but the only way to achieve direct experience of this knowledge is to give it a try for yourself!
The Door to the Positive Emotional States
Once we have surrendered enough negativity, we arrive at the level of courage - measured at 200 on the scale of consciousness - which is a kind of doorway into the positive emotions on the upper scale. At this level, we can handle any negativity that comes up with confidence, clarity and humor. We have more energy and drive than we did at shame (measured at zero, the level closest to death) and we have less irritation than we did at the level of anger (measured at 150, right under the level of pride).
While we are in courage, we feel self-sufficient and more creative - open to a larger capacity for resilience and there is a certain cheerfulness about the overall process of surrender. At this level, we become more willing to let go of old points of view, and when we practice this repeatedly, we can build lots of self esteem merely by being willing to look at our negative feelings and then to become free from them.
Why We Have a Tendency Toward Resistance
While we are in courage, we feel self-sufficient and more creative - open to a larger capacity for resilience and there is a certain cheerfulness about the overall process of surrender. At this level, we become more willing to let go of old points of view, and when we practice this repeatedly, we can build lots of self esteem merely by being willing to look at our negative feelings and then to become free from them.
Why We Have a Tendency Toward Resistance
Emotions are actually employed by the mind as a survival mechanism, and this is why the mind doesn't want to let go of the negativity at first. It thinks the negativity will somehow keep it alive, and this survival instinct - a response to fear - drives much of unconscious human behavior.
The underlying negative emotions that drive our actions in life are in response to a sense of lack that humans feel when they believe that they ARE the body. If we identify our entire being with the body itself, then because the body is perceived as vulnerable, we believe WE are vulnerable. We then conclude we must look outside of ourselves in order to satisfy our own needs. Insecurity, unhappiness, and lack of fulfillment are all emotional drivers behind the fear of non-survival, which comprise the lower motivations behind much of human behavior.
If you’d like to learn more on the clinical applications of the process of surrender for every kind of negative emotion, you can read Letting Go by David R Hawkins. I highly recommend this version on Audible.
As the book explains, you’ll know you’ve done the Letting Go process correctly as you’ll feel much lighter inside.
Enjoy the process!
Love,
Phoenix
The underlying negative emotions that drive our actions in life are in response to a sense of lack that humans feel when they believe that they ARE the body. If we identify our entire being with the body itself, then because the body is perceived as vulnerable, we believe WE are vulnerable. We then conclude we must look outside of ourselves in order to satisfy our own needs. Insecurity, unhappiness, and lack of fulfillment are all emotional drivers behind the fear of non-survival, which comprise the lower motivations behind much of human behavior.
If you’d like to learn more on the clinical applications of the process of surrender for every kind of negative emotion, you can read Letting Go by David R Hawkins. I highly recommend this version on Audible.
As the book explains, you’ll know you’ve done the Letting Go process correctly as you’ll feel much lighter inside.
Enjoy the process!
Love,
Phoenix
